


We don’t need nobody

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Cuddling, Dancing, Drugs, F/M, M/M, Swearing, ballerina Natasha Romanov, no graphic depictions of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-23 01:56:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4858760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two lonely people meet in a bar. Everyone knows what happens next. </p><p>(It's crying. Crying and hugging.)</p><p>(title from Body Electric, Lana Del Rey)</p>
            </blockquote>





	We don’t need nobody

Bucky felt delightfully empty as he walked through the dirty bar. He’d popped some obscure-ass pill earlier, guy with bright blue hair selling them for five bucks a piece; how could he resist? It made everything quieter, somehow. The rock music didn’t shake his whole body anymore, just background noise. He could focus on the people around him now.

Young couples, dancing dirty. Steal a kiss from a stranger and giving nothing in return, Bucky knew the ways. He’d been to these kinda bars back in his days, although the music was decidedly better back then. Also, you were always on the lookout for the cops.

At twelve o’clock, red-haired babe in a short black dress. No leather, obviously designed to dance in freely. The body of a ballet dancer. She swung her hips in all the right ways, hitting every beat in a way that should be illegal.

Natasha.

She caught his eye, and winked, cheekily, and Bucky could do nothing else but to come closer. Her red hair was bouncing with her, and this moment she was just so fucking pretty.

“Hey hotshot.” She said, letting her eyes roam all over his body.

“Hey. Didn’t expect you here.” Bucky said. He just played along for time being.

“Of course ya didn’t.” Natasha smiled. It was like the room around them went silent, except for that thrumming beat making the ground shake a little. The people around them were monochrome but that bright red hair was the most visible thing in the world.

“I’m here ‘cause I’m dead inside, pretty much. Guess you’re here for that, too?” Bucky asked. Natasha put her arms around him, looking up at him with a cheeky smile.

“Oh, that’s a bit extreme, so early at night, isn’t it?” Natasha said. Bucky grinned and nodded before going in.

They didn’t have any feelings for each other, but they were two lonely people meeting in a bar, and everyone knows how that story ends.

Bucky shoved her into the wall, not to hurt her, but to give that rough edge all the girls loved. Natasha liked to believe she was an exception but she too had been drinking a bit, and it just made the edges a bit vague.

They kissed dirty, both knew a hundred tricks on how to get a man to let ‘em through, alright then, ‘cause they’re so dang cute. Being on the same level was quite refreshing, for once.

Steve kissed like it was his first time. He was very enthusiastic, but that didn’t make the wet licking okay. Steve fucked like that too, not erotic, just uncomfortable with a side dish of ‘if I pretend I like it, will he love me?’

And Bucky did love it, but because it was Steve. And he’d wanted Steve for a long time. And if he closed his eyes he could pretend Steve wanted him, too.  
Natasha kissed him in a way which made him forget, and that was better. She grinded against him in the pale light of the moon outside of the bar.

Suddenly she stopped, and looked at him. She got something out of her bag; cigarette, lit it and took a drag.

“You sure you wanna do this?” She asked.

“I’m not- really in the mood for deep philosophy right now.” Bucky declared. Natasha offered him the cigarette but he declined.

“Alright. No strings attached. On the job we’re friends.” Natasha said.

“Friends who just fucked for the hell of it?” Bucky asked.

“Well, if that makes you feel better. Sex is a good way to change how you feel.” Natasha said. She took another drag of her cigarette.

“If you’re spent there’s no room for feeling anything else.” Bucky mused.

“Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Let’s go to my place. Come with me.” She said. Bucky nodded and followed her through the midnight streets.

 

There was endless thrumming inside his skull as Bucky Barnes left Steve Rogers’ house for the last time. The headache was pumping into his brain, leaving nothing unscathed. He could do nothing but to look at the ground as he attempted to walk home.

As he stumbled, he expected a warm hand on his shoulder, Steve from before, Steve taking him in. But that Steve didn’t exist anymore. You hear it a lot, but fame, and simply existing had changed Steve so much he’d become not much more than an empty shell angry at the world for doing her job. This newer version of Steve liked starting fights out of nowhere, not because he liked the fighting itself but because people opened up, saying things they didn’t want to feel, didn’t want to tell anyone. Steve liked ruining things.

He ruined Bucky, too. And now Bucky was all alone, walking home. Steve got a girl named Suzie, nice little thing, he knocked her up, even. Her skin had looked all rosy and beautiful in the light of the moon as Bucky found her and Steve, entwined. Her moans were those of a queen, staying beneath what was considered endearing and never actually screaming her lungs out. Sex was supposed to be dirty, that was the only reason Bucky really liked it himself.

“I’m sorry, Buck- I can explain-“ Steve said. Suzie sat herself down on the bed next to Steve, climbing off, and put the blankets around her. Steve stood up, shooting into some boxers laying around while Bucky started walking off.

“I feel horrible about it. I do. I’m so sorry and I- I’d get it if you wouldn’t want anything to do with me anymore..” Steve said and Bucky halted in the kitchen, not turning around as he spoke. “You disgust me.” And at that moment he was speaking the truth.

“I know, I understand, frankly, I feel the same about myself but-“

“I don’t fucking CARE WHAT YOU THINK!” Bucky yelled. Suzie came rushing in, wearing a light blue nightgown. She looked at Steve, and then at Bucky, apologetic.

“I don’t. Fucking. Care. What you think. Now stay away from me, okay?” Bucky said, and left the house.

Red was clouding his vision and his headache was stopping him from thinking clear. That was the last time he was there, anywhere near Steve's house. 

And yet somewhere in the back of his mind, Bucky still hoped Steve would come after him, put a warm hand on his shoulder and tell him it's all a stupid joke. But nobody came after him. Instead he went home, took some heavy painkillers and tried to get his mind off of things. 

In the weeks after it happened, Bucky did everything to try and forget. He binge-watched all seasons of Buffy the vampire slayer, went bungee-jumping (and swore never to do it again) and took up volunteering at the soup kitchen. But every time he closed his eyes there was that picture of Steve, and Suzie, and it was just too much. 

Natasha lived in a beautiful house. It was big, roomy, and had those floor-to-ceiling windows. It was on the 20th floor. 

Suddenly nausea overtook Bucky, as he sat down on the couch, trying to keep himself stable. 

"You okay Hotshot?" Natasha asked. Bucky took a deep breath. 

"I'm not- feelin' too well if I'm being honest." Bucky said. Natasha looked at him, pitiful. 

"Me neither." she confessed, voice soft. "We don't have to do this, you know. We can just- come here." Natasha stood up and Bucky followed her into the bedroom. 

There, she laid down, and signaled Bucky to do the same. She put her arms around him, slotting her head into the crook of his neck and she didn't say anything when she felt him crying. 

Alexi was dead. At least, that's what they all said. Natasha and Alexi had been happy; something you wouldn't think from an arranged marriage. And of course he had to die, much like anyone Natasha ever became close to. 

After Alexi's death she vowed never to 1) become so close to anyone ever again and 2) get married. Natasha did her job, and rebelled to her job again, and this went on for a long time until she ended up in bed, comforting a crying Bucky Barnes because Steve was a goddamn douchebag. 

She'd known him before; way back, when Steve thought he was dead. When Steve was still in the ice. He was nothing like Alexi, though. 

Alexi had short, dark blond hair which was perfect to ruffle through. He and Natasha were a 'power couple' he a famous test pilot, she a trained ballerina. They were in love, and Natasha was young. She still believed in true love. Now she was older, and realized fairy tails don't end so well, and in the end you're still alone with an ex-assassin who is crying into your hair. But you feel like it's alright, 'cause everyone needs to cry sometimes. 

Alexi was the only one it was so simple with. 

But as she laid here, draped around a sleeping Bucky Barnes, it was easy. She could just relax. Tomorrow it would be over, but she forced herself to close her eyes. Just.. go to sleep. 

Don't think it through so much.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a review please!


End file.
